I must still be (and have somewhat confirmed that I may possibly always be) a hopeless romantic, to believe that there’s beauty in this certain uncertainty of our lives. To find that there’s a certain remarkable beauty in what is broken rather than find obvious admiration in what is not. To find the love and ill-expressed intentions underneath the anger and the spiteful actions.To believe that there’s a great deal of hope to be found outside each unexpected or untimely ending. I must still be a hopeless romantic, to place so much belief on a concept, an idea, a feeling that’s supposed to last forever…when forever doesn’t nearly last as long as its said to be.
I must still be. If even that has yet to stop me.
She’s just that type that would much rather carry the weight of the sea than dive into a man’s arms.
Don’t be hypocritical and judge others once you grow out of the shoes you once wore and they’re now filling. Just because you’ve acquired a deeper insight than them does not grant you the right to criticize and/or judge them. Use your newly found wisdom not to debase them, but instead for acuity. Pointing fingers when your hands are dirty too does nothing but make you look even filthier.
Regardless if it has anything to do with me or not or if the smile was spontaneous or induced by something else entirely—-I can’t help but smile back or feel the effects of one when I hear good news or see someone happy. I’m relieved, no…I’m downright happy. I’m happy that academically, I’m blessed with a chance to bounce back and get myself back on track. I’m happy that it’s officially finalized that you’re here to stay. I’m happy to see that your strength is building back up now that that heavy weight is lifted from your tired shoulders and that more often than not, I can hear you whistle more frequently as you rush around in then kitchen. Im happy that financially things are beginning to stabilize. I’m happy that soon enough, all your hard work and efforts have paid off and that your dream is finally transforming itself into reality. I’m happy that the money that I saved up is starting to show promise of fulfilling that promise that I made to you and to myself from what seems like ages ago. I’m happy that I found the forgiveness and the acceptance to let it go; it’s made the memories and the reality of it all the more sweeter rather than bitter. I’m happy as much as I am grateful to even have something to randomly remember and laugh or smile about. I’m happy that you aced your interview. I’m happy that you guys are getting married, it’s taken you guys long enough. Im happy that your relationship is still, more or less going strong, and that youre experiencing what it feels to love someone more than what you could ever imagine possible. I’m happy that slowly but surely I’m beginning to see the traces of your smile that I believed to be long gone after you lost him; I’ve missed that strong, assertive aspect of you especially when I didn’t know how to be your rock. I’m happy that you’re safe and that you’re still alive and breathing after that car accident; seeing you smile just about made my day. I’m happy that your mother is coming to town, lord knows how much you need her. I’m happy to see that now, I’m certain I did the right thing and what was in the best interest for you.
When you’re happy, I’m happy. That much I know is true. But now, I think it’s time for me to focus on my own sense of happiness. I know, you’d probably agree and say the same too.