Too many nights
falling asleep
with all of these doubts
stuck in between us
Being polite is getting us nowhere now.
I’ve just got to make the best of what I have to work with.
I’m just going to keep dragging my reluctant feet forward one step at a time and keep my eyes from looking back.
Whatever happens, happens.
And whatever comes my way is nothing I can’t handle
Right?
I think it’s amazing how individuals with such tremendously drastic pasts can keep a sincere smile on their face without giving others the slightest or most obvious reason that they’ve been through a shit load of ordeals.
From receiving pain, you heal. And from receiving scars, you gain another story to tell and a smile to show that you’ve experienced enough moments of sadness.
Sometimes, people go through great lengths to delete/edit certain aspects/characteristics of themselves that they or others deem as undesirable and try to reconfigure it in the likeliness of another. Call it crazy, call it a little desperate, call it human—-but shit like that happens at one point or another. It’s kinda crazy really, to see someone do a complete 180 on their views, moral standpoints and interests in order to please or even go so far as to bait and keep those around them. What further blows my mind is the amount of effort, time, and energy they use to orchestrate such an act and to be able to put such a restraint on their true selves. It’s like watching someone in an abusive, losing relationship with oneself. Biting their tongue raw from emitting their real thoughtout emotions and knee jerk remarks and rubbing away their distinct, raw qualities that only experience, time and environment did well to create only to gloss it over with a commercial and pleasing shine that truly looks…too contrived and too forced to be considered…real.
I don’t care how long or how hard you’ve worked to keep this facade going, sooner or later, your true colors will resurface and reveal itself in the cracks of that makeshift mask. You can’t hide or suppress your true self from yourself and others forever.
It’s just a matter of time and unexpected circumstances.
Something to rest your head to.
