The more you care,
the more you have to worry.
The more you have to smile about,
the more you have to cry about.
The more you love,
the more you have to lose.
It’s the more of anything that makes it all the more worthwhile.
Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)
Seems like the more I read this book, the more I drift off and let my mind wander. An escape in the form of a good read?: Bueno.
visible and present at your brightest times yet nowhere to be found at your darkest.
Not to sound bitter in any shape, way or form but that’s just how I see it. I see it as nothing personal, it’s the way people are functioned to react to such times. Often times, people like to be comforted but when it comes down to do the comforting: shit gets foreign and uncomfortable. Words fall flat or stumble out awkward and seemingly empty and it’s only a matter of time before every cliche is exhausted and a quiet silence and a quick escape is in order. After all, no one wants to have anything or anyone rain on their parade, right?
But then again, I’ve never really believed in the concept of depending on people for “advice” or for “comfort”. I’ve always firmly believed that in your darkest hour, it’s you and you alone that must supply your own light. No amount of reassurance or well-intentioned adivce can ever solve or give you the answer/solution that you seek; the answer almost always resides in you: your choice in perspective and your will to brush off the dirt and stand back up on your own two feet. Learn that strength and peace of mind derives from within.
So that when those clouds come rolling in, rest assured that you don’t need to seek shelter under someone’s umbrella: you alone, have the ability to dispel those very clouds and shine on through.
And it seems like no matter how many times I strive forward and do the damn things my body still gets extremely tuckered out, as if I’m hardly building any stamina (would probably help if I were more consistent with these workouts but I digress). Tonight, being the stubborn ass that I am, I decided to up the ante and do two workouts back to back. Felt good to be going all out but my energy soon wore off in the middle of the second one lol I don’t think I’ve physically exerted my body to that degree since probably the 10th grade when I used to go boarding with the cousins at Utah. On that note: my ass feels like I ripped myself a new one. Damn. That last unopened carton of oatmeal cookie chunk seems to be calling my name, but alas, I must resist if I want to achieve my goal. I cannot be swayed by such temptations and my fatty ways. Must.be.strong.
Mila Kunis status abs and ass…here I come.
Maybe it’s due to my childhood and spending all those hours glued to the screen, playing video games such as FFX, shadow of the colossus and kingdom hearts and watching a crapload of anime but every time I get into a book I tend to set up a little CG final fantasy advent children status sort of movie in my mind. Complete with an epic soundtrack, pretty sick camera angles and effects to boot. I can’t be the only one that does this.